On the origin of the (Vespisti) species

Sometimes, I do get that guilty feeling and head off to the gym. The guilt largely stems from the fact that I've got a €40 or so Direct Debit hitting my bank account at the start of the month rather than the excess 20kgs that's been on me for the past few years!

So, you see, I don't really like going to the gym. Some days I feel like a puny little Vespa surrounded by the more muscle-bound, horsepower loaded bikes around me.

I blame my bad back though for making me dislike the gym. Seemingly, my back bone is badly mis-aligned because of a fall I had when I was 7. To cut a long story short, I fell head first into an open monsoon drain. The drain was about 6 feet deep and as you can imagine, the fall caused a big gash in my head.

I eventually made my way out of the drain thinking that everything was all good until I heard the horrifying screams from people around me. I was 7 and thought it was way cool to look like some Zombie from Kampong Pisang scaring all the other school kids away!

My Mama disagreed though. After getting over the blood gushing out of my head (and obviously making sure I wasn't a real zombie), she gave me a stern look and told me to wipe that stupid smile off my face. I duly complied.

Anyway, I think I was given the wrong medical explanation for my condition. I blame the Vespa. Due to its inherent design flaw, I believe scooterists the world over have had to adapt. To evolve.

I think one of my ass cheeks is bigger than the other!

PS: Went to Search's gig in Dublin last night. More on that over the next few days...