Watching Paint Dry in Utrecht

There I was busily tapping a way at my laptop’s keyboard when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Movement. Yes, there was definitely movement outside on the first floor balcony of my house. Could be nothing. One of the estate’s many stray cats or a bird. Nothing to panic about. After a brief moment, I noticed it again and then again. That’s no cat...

I got off the couch and without thinking twice I darted to the French doors that led to the balcony. There in front of me was my cat – two hooded figures, in tracksuits and sneakers were crouched on the metal rails of my balcony, in broad daylight.

Shit.

Different thoughts raced through my mind. There was the hurley or maybe a golf club that I kept reminding myself to buy and keep handy around the house, just in case situations like this ever happened. Where were my wife and kids? Surely, I needed to tell them to get out of the house at that very moment. My mobile? God only knows where that was that afternoon.

I must’ve stood rooted to the laminate floor, staring at the two intruders for long enough as one of them pointed me out to his fellow perpetrator. But then, something strange happened. Both of them smiled. Cheesy-looking grins actually and waved their guns. Oh yeah, burglars with a sense of humour. Awww...how nice of them.

Wait.

Those gray things in their hands weren’t guns or any type of weapon. Not at all. They were...paintbrushes soaked in gray paint. Eh? WTF?

At that moment, I realised that the two men standing on my balcony weren’t actually baddies out to rob me of what little belongings I had in the house, they were actually painters who were hired by the block’s management company to spruce up all the old and flaked paint on the metal railings around the place. Relieved that my life wasn’t at threat I continued to stand at the same spot curiously looking at the two men’s work.

It wasn’t easy work. First, they had to scrub and sand off all the old paint work. Then, they had to brush away anything else that was left behind before putting on what seemed to me like a coat of primer on the bare metal. After leaving a section to dry, they’d continue with the sanding/scrubbing elsewhere but would come back to paint on a couple of layers of gray paint, making sure that they get the paint evenly on every single nook and cranny on the metal railing. After all that, their job was basically done and all that was left was to pray that it didn’t rain so that the paint could properly dry.

Interesting? Not one bit.

But I can promise you that there are even less interesting things in life than watching paint dry. And, to prove my point, I will gladly offer an example: The FC Utrecht v. Liverpool Europa League match last night. I would offer some of my views on the match but considering that the only interesting bits were Van Wolfswinkel’s name and Martin Skrtel’s head wrapping that made him look like a white Arthur Ashe (without the 70’s afro), I’ve pretty much ran out of things to say.


What I can comment on is the strange reaction from Roy Hodgson during the pre-match press conference. When asked how many points would be required to qualiy from Group K, he replied with...

Nine or ten would be my guess but I wouldn't put a bet on it if I were you because I'm not very good at these 'How many points do you need' games.

Not very good at estimating points, Roy? If you're not good at that in a 4-team group, I wonder how you'd fare with the Premiership's 20-team table. How many points are you aiming for there?

OK, I'm being harsh but it's not like I plucked the comments off some anti-Liverpool tabloid like The Sun. The comments were taken from Liverpool's official site so, the chances of our manager being misquoted are pretty much slim to none. Of course, it might be the case that I lack some sense of humour but really, now's not the time to be joking about points tally and all.

If I was looking for some reassurances last night, there was definitely very little on show either pre-match or during the match itself.