This Is...Fred Perry?

I'm a sucker when it comes to good marketing tactics. Scratch that. They don't even have to be good in the first place. All it takes is constant in-your-face imagery and I'm yours - up to a point of course. Take for example the job done by tennis attire-turned-subculture favourite, Fred Perry on This is England '86 .

After watching the series, I was hooked. All I can think about these days is the stitched laurel on a merino wool cardigan or a polo shirt, tipped if possible. To make things worse, I don't even look good in either piece of clothing. Personally, I think cardigans are for grandads, not that my two grandads ever wore one, preferring the humble combination of a sarong and a Pagoda t-shirt instead while my other half thinks I "look a bit gay" in a cardigan. Just great. Get myself a cardigan and I run the risk of looking like a homosexual grandad.

The good news doesn't end there though. No, not for me. You see, I have jello for arms and a six-pack ab. Unfortunately, the six-pack is well hidden underneath a worryingly huge tummy. This is normally not a problem if I just stick to regular or loose-fitting pieces of clothing but, if I ever decide to challenge the norm with say, slim-fitting Japanese-size Fred Perry polos, catastrophe looms.

So, for the moment, I think I'd stay clear of Fred Perry until my infrequent visits to the gym actually bears some fruit. Until then, I can at least say that i've got a scooter and at one stage of my life, owned a pair of Dr. Martens boots...

Pic by andeecollard