Of Mackerels and Hari Raya

You know what would make BIG money in Malaysia these days?

I sat there, clueless. I was trying to second guess where my friend was going with his question. For a brief moment, something flickered in my mind and then it faded away. The deep-fried mackerel and sambal grinds the brain to a halt as the body’s energy is diverted towards the stomach which is focused on digesting the wicked but extremely delicious evening meal.

A good Hari Raya movie!

The enquirer came up with the answer to his own question, almost instantaneously. The blankness in my brain must’ve been so obviously reflected on my I-don’t-have-time-for-this face. The phuck man? You’ve had too much of my wife’s sambal.

Seriously, what’s the last good Raya movie you’ve seen? Tell me?

I was stumped. I certainly didn’t have a clue. I gave my wife, the expert on all things about Malaysian entertainment a quick glance. A shrug of the shoulders was as good as I got from her on the matter. Visions of the late Yasmin Ahmad and Petronas came to mind. They were certainly good although a tad bit predictable after a while.

They’re not movies, stupid! - I quickly reminded myself before blurting out an obviously wrong answer.

After a brief moment of silence, the matter was no longer up for discussion. There was no doubt among the people sat at the dinner table that night - a good Raya movie is like the Holy Grail of the Malaysian film industry. If one were to produce one, it would get played every single Raya (that’s twice a year) on every single half-decent Malaysian TV channel. That’s not even taking into account the amount of money it would make at the cinemas countrywide. They might even be a cross-eye inducing 3D version thrown it for the hell of it. Avatar, eat Raya movie’s ketupat!

In short, anybody holding the financial rights to the movie would be sorted for generations. To top it off, Malacca might also end up giving you a Datukship for alleged services to the state.

If you know anyone with a good script, you let me know, OK?

A good script, eh? I don't actually know anyone but I could give it a go myself. I’m definitely no screenwriter but really,in the words of Dr. Pepper - what’s the worst that could happen? I could post bits of the script on this blog and see where it goes from there. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t...