A Different Kind of Journey

Normally, I'd merely go through Phoenix Park on my way to work. On the Vespa, the 5 miles or so to get to the park from home is effortless and depending on traffic, would take anything between 5 minutes and 15 minutes. Not actually a long journey by any standard but, it's a little bit different when you throw away the old 2-stroke engine and replace the pressed steel frame with what basically is two wheels stuck onto a couple of aluminium tubes welded together.

Yes, on one cloudy and mild Saturday morning, a friend of mine and I set off on a bicyle journey. At first, we weren't sure of our destination. All we had in mind was to do as many miles as we could within the hour or so that we had that morning. Fed up with going around Blanchardstown, I came up with the idea of cycling all the way to Phoenix Park.

My cycling buddy (let's call him Sam) looked at me in disbelief.

Both of us had only recently started cycling as a way of getting some exercise. Football was out of the question as we didn't have enough numbers among our circle of friends to get a decent five-a-side game going. Not on a regular basis anyway. Plus, the last time we experimented with expanding the circle, it went horribly wrong. All this of course ignores the fact I'm totally crap at football anyway. So, we turned to cycling.

Sam was still staring at me as if I had just suggested that we compete in the Giro d'Italia or something.

I know a short cut...

I tried to reassure him with my local knowledge and after a moment deliberating on the best (read shortest and least hilly) route, we were on our way.

Next objective: Dublin City Centre!

Dawn of A New Age

A new addition to the stable. And no, its not a scooter. I consider it a "performance upgrade" for the average, slightly "big-boned" scooter enthusiast.

I have to say, the improvement in performance won't be apparent in the short-term so we'll have to wait a little while longer before any conclusions are made.

In the meantime, I'm delighted to grab every opportunity I get to re-live my childhood years.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Where Have All the Good Stands Gone?

What is it with bicycles these days? 


I mean, whatever happened to the good old bicycle stand? Are they so aerodynamic these days that the manufacturers couldn't let a side stand ruin its design? Maybe their owners are too skint to add stands to their bikes after spending a fortune on fluorescent lycra? Maybe its way un-cool to have bikes fitted with stands? Yeah, because its way cooler to have them lying on the ground like an unwanted piece of flat-packed Ikea furniture. 

The world of stand-less bicycles

Seriously, what's the story here? Was some sort of bicycle stand tax introduced? Please, can anyone tell me why the change of heart with stands in the past few years? Why?


Is there something normal people on other two-wheeled contraptions are missing (particularly of the internal combustion engine variety)?


Walking around Dublin one would see bikes just thrown all over the place. Leaning on other people's properties, tied to sign posts, strapped to traffic lights, discarded on the ground, etc. etc. But, what annoys me the most is when their stupid owners conveniently lean them on my Vespa, as if it was their birthright, ruining the paint on the side panels.


What shall I do with these types of people and their bikes? Hmmm...

Shight Rider!

Geddit? Like the great Hoff's Knight Rider, only shite. That's it. You've probably heard of the Knight Rider's computer brain thing called K.I.T.T. Well, in Shight Rider's case, there would also be an onboard computer thing, a sort of Garmin prat nav contraption called...you guessed right...S.H.I.T.T.


OK, we're veering into La-La lad here. Why this sudden obsession with an 80's TV show starring a young, non-swimming trunk wearing and hairy-chested Hoff?

Well, because one bright but wet morning as I was making my way to work, I was called one. No, I wasn't called the Hoff (surely, I'm not as good-looking as him).

I was called a Shite Rider. Not to be mistaken with the above-mentioned Shight Rider but it rhymes, and that's about it.

You see, it's coming towards the end of spring and heading into good old summer. And with less rain (I wouldn't classify the Irish summer as dry), the roads are suddenly beginning to be filled with strange beings not normally seen in harsher weather: Amateur Cyclists.

Not the normal lycra-wearing variety you see in all types of weather. These professional/hardcore-type cyclists  actually know the rules of the road, they just refuse to abide by them. No, the ones I'm talking about here are of the chubbier variety. Yes, some of them do wear ill-fitting luminous lycra but most if not all of them ride almost new bicycles they only bought because of that Bike To Work scheme that's been offered at the office.

So, because these cyclists think they're doing their bit for the environment, they think they're entitled to road-hog, cycle on pedestrian footpaths and beat red lights. That's all fine if they don't annoy anyone else. It's even fine by me if they decide to go plunging to to their deaths into the side of a forty foot lorry. But, when these same cyclists complain that this car cut them, that pedestrian shouted at them or in my case, almost ran them over, it just gets that bit more too much.

It does. There I was going into a roundabout. I knew I was going to take the second exit i.e. to go straight. Like a good scooterist, right after the first exit, I indicated left. As soon as I made it into the second exit I heard someone shout behind me.

SHITE RIDER!!!

I looked back. There he was, Mr. Chubby Amateur Bike to Work cyclist. He was going to cut me on the left (at a roundabout?) and got angry that I didn't slow down or stop to make way for him. Seriously, WTF man?

He didn't fall or anything so, I went on my way. I felt a bit confused at first and then, a tad bit pissed off. Honestly, if it was just the one idiot, I'd be forgiving enough. The thing is, there's just too many of these idiots in spring/summer that it becomes as dangerous as riding a Vespa on  an ice-covered road in the middle of winter.

Yeah, it's great that the powers-that-be are encouraging people to cycle to work and all that but there's a big difference between cycling for fun in a park or around your neighbourhood and actually cycling on congested city centre streets. A big difference.

Maybe some sort of start would be to make appplicants for the Bike to Work Scheme sit some sort of mandatory rules of the road test. It won't get rid of the more hardcore idiots on the road but at least it'll reduce their numbers.

So, until this idea gets implemented, ride safely people and beware the chubby idiot on a bicycle coming behind you...

The view from the top...

...of the bus! Due to the continued horrendous weather, I've had the pleasure this week of using Dublin's public transportation system. It's not that I don't like getting my oxygen supply via a complete stranger's armpit on the Maynooth line or being forced to listen to ABBA's SOS being hummed by the fat bloke sitting beside me on the 38c. I just miss the freedom I had on two-wheels!


Fortunately though, there are perks to getting on the bus. Seriously. For instance, I only noticed this week that the central footpath on O'Connell Street is actually a No Motorcycle Parking Zone. One wouldn't have noticed this standing at pedestrian/car/motorycycle level on O'Connell Street. Oh, and the fact that the street resembles Ho Chin Minh City with all sorts of two-wheeled contraptions parked where they're not supposed to, most of the time. Reminded me of Jangan Membuang Sampah signs back home in Malaysia. It's the first place rubbish would be piled-up, high enough at the bottom of the sign to the point where it actually covers up the sign. Why? I don't know.



What I do know now is that those lycra-wearing cyclists are not immune to the effects of this weather. To be honest, I was feeling a tad bit jealous seeing all those non-road tax paying, non-red light stopping cyclists whizzing past me while I made every effort to drag myself on foot to work. Jealousy turned into amazement as I wondered how it defied logic and the forces of Mother Nature that they stayed on two-wheels while I was forced to leave my Vespa behind. It simply was unfair.



Well, my faith in Mother Nature was restored a few days ago. I saw a cyclist fall on his face the other day while beating a red light. Of course I didn't help the poor fella up. I just smiled. He was fine. Ego was probably a bit bruised and he probably had a tear in his lycra pants but other than that, he'll live to annoy decent tax-paying motorists (and pedestrians)again. It's just nature's way of getting back at them. Thou shalt not cycle on ice.


Talking about defying nature, I came across this crowd that have come up with an ingenious modification to the humble scooter:

I'd consider buying one if they did one for my PX but I assume they're probably busy right now dealing with lawsuits for nicking that 70's porn flick soundtrack!