Vespa Down!

I'm not sure about anyone else but I'd normally be slow to adapt to change especially when it involves switching between driving my car on a regular basis and then back to a scooter. Naturally, the same applies the other way around.

So, after riding around regularly on my Vespa and then switching to the car on weekends (to haul the family here and there), I would still have the tendency to squeeze in between stalled traffic. Fortunately for me (and the family), this has never happened and we've escaped becoming a three-car sandwich.

Due to the recent horrid weather, I've had to opt for the car over the Vespa in recent weeks. And then as the rest of Europe continues to freeze, Ireland started to get milder and milder. Getting sick of sitting around in traffic jams, I felt that the time (and temperature) was right to switch back to the Vespa.

Ultimately, it was a bad decision - my mind and reflexes hadn't switched back to the level of awareness required for a scooter rider in urban conditions and so, on a damp and cold morning, my Vespa got friendly with a car. Of course, it had to be a taxi and so, what was a minor scuff mark on the taxi's bumper became a structural issue and what most would consider a nudge by my oh-so puny scooter became a cause for whiplash and all sorts of accident-related ailments.

Like I said, a mere scuff

Yes, it was entirely my fault and I was willing to pay for the damages myself but as soon as he came up with words like trauma and shock, I thought it was best to cut my losses and go down the insurance route. I'll probably be paying for it for as long as I ride a scooter but the last thing I wanted at that stage was the taxi driver getting his cabbie mates along to the party or a doctor's bill (dodgy no doubt) the size of a whole month's salary coming my way.

Anyway, the from the look of things, the mudguard's a write-off while I'm still waiting on news from the mechanic on whether the front fork is still safely useable. Hopefully, it'll all be sorted in the next week and I can get back to riding my scooter as soon as possible. Preferrably, avoiding wet conditions and...taxis!

Night Cravings

Having owned my Vespa for almost five years or so, I can safely come to the conclusion that the Vespa gets better when things around it get worse.

The scooter laps up emergency road closures, inexplicable new one-way systems, dodgy tragfic lights and even flash floods with relative ease. So, when it came to choosing which mode of transport was best (I've got a choice of three these days) to get to the nearest kebab place in the middle of a winter night, the Green Vespa was the obvious choice.

Mmmm...Who would've thought that some spicy garlic cheese fries could taste so good?

The Number 46

To many, the number 46 has different meanings. When I was young, it meant that my father couldn't sell off our banger of a Peugeot 504 and replace it with something that would better suit our growing family. We initially thought that it was the fugly ochre paint job but after speaking to some of our more superstitious Chinese neighbours, we were reliaby informed that it was the car's number plates that was the problem.

Apparently, the number 4 equates to death and the number 6 was something unfortunate like a worm or snake. Combine the two together you get roadkill or Death Snake or Worm of Death. Completely fine if you're a hairy biker looking for your next terrifying ride but for a family saloon in Malaysia, the car was as good as scrap metal. To make things worse, my Dad's car had the number 46 on the plates not once but twice. Death Worm. Death Worm. Dammit...

Anyway, other than killing a few chickens and a cow, the old car served us well until Daddy finally found someone desperate enough to take the car off him, a good 15 years later. By then, I was in my teens and the number 46 meant something different altogether. Election posters with Tunku Abdul Rahman's picture (in his iconic Merdeka pose) started to appear everywhere I went. There was political upheaval in Malaysia and Semangat 46 (or Spirit of 46 Malay Party) was the era's Keadlian (People's Justice Party). Being in my early teens, I didn't have a clue as to what was going on. All I wanted to do was grab some of the campaign flags and turn them into a cape or two for my superhero costumes. And, that was the end of that.

Fast forward another decade or so and the number 46 made a re-appearance. Coincidentally, it came in the familiar colour of yellow (the same as the now defunct Semangat 46) but instead of being seen on posters across town, they appeared on the backs of numerous motorcyclists in Malaysia - all wanting to be like Moto GP sensation Valentino Rossi.

That was then. A couple of weeks ago, the number 46 took on a new meaning. Well, a new-ish meaning as Piaggio unveiled their Vespa Quarantasei (that's how you pronounce 46 in Italian) retro concept scooter.

Finally, after years of mucking about with half-baked attempts like the ET autos, LXs and to an extent the new GTs, Piaggio have finally upped their game and come out with an original idea. From the pictures that are now widely available on the web, it's quite clear that Piaggio have gone back to its roots (hence the reference to 46 being the year the first Vespa was born) and taken on board loads of functional design cues from the scooter tuning community.

As examples, the two-seater that looks like an old-style Vespa single seat configuration is definitely a standout while the curved front mudguard to accomodate the front shock looks like it came straight out of a German tuners head.

All that's needed now is for Piaggio to throw in a 200cc engine into it and actually make the damn thing.

The Night Dublin Stood Still

A whole month's amount of rain fell on Dublin on Monday night. A whole month. In a night.

Roads turned into rivers as Dublin's rush hour traffic was brought to a standstill. Yours truly on the other hand, isn't in the business of hanging around inhaling toxic fumes from all the cars. Sure, I was soaked to the bone on my old Vespa but at least I was moving along which on Monday night wasn't just a simple task of filtering through traffic.

At certain stages of the journey, I certainly felt that I was on some sort of extreme adventure scooter challenge involving riding a half-submerged Vespa in and out of gushing water, climbing up footpaths and navigating through layers of wet leaves so slippery I might have as well have been riding on frozen lake. Oh, and did I mention that this was all done while I was blind-folded.

OK, not exactly blind-folded but it certainly felt like that with a constantly fogging up helmet and the incessant rain pelting directly into my eyeballs.

As horrible as that might sound to some, I wouldn't have it any other way though.



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Louis Vuitton Lid

Nope the recession isn't over just yet and the picture below isn't suggesting that I'm off on a shopping spree buying all the designer goods that I can get my hands on.





It's just a good spot to park my Vespa when I'm in the Grafton Street area.

Normally, I'd park the scooter there and walk away without even noticing the items on display in Louis Vuitton preferring to look across the street where Tower Records is located instead or head towards the ATM a few feet away. Actually, I try to avoid that particular ATM if I can as it constantly smells as if someone's taken a leak around it on a regular basis. Maybe there's some sort of pee-for-cash scheme going on here that I'm not aware of. Hmmm...

Anyway, while stopping by to get some winter essential gear for the kids, I couldn't help but notice the item that was on display in the designer store's window.





A Louis Vuitton motorcycle helmet.

I didn't bother asking whether it was really for sale or was it just for display purposes. Even if it was for sale and there wasn't a recession going on, I still wouldn't be caught dead in the thing.

Some might think otherwise.

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Dawn of A New Age

A new addition to the stable. And no, its not a scooter. I consider it a "performance upgrade" for the average, slightly "big-boned" scooter enthusiast.

I have to say, the improvement in performance won't be apparent in the short-term so we'll have to wait a little while longer before any conclusions are made.

In the meantime, I'm delighted to grab every opportunity I get to re-live my childhood years.

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Steve Jobs Wasn't Known To Be Into Scooters But...

At least he made technology work for us normal human beings as opposed to the other way around.

To prove my point, here's something that my iPhone conjured up (with a bit of help from WordFoto) within a couple of minutes.





Not bad I suppose given that I have zero artistic ability.

Ingenuity, Born of Necessity (and the Threat of Utter Boredom)

I sensed that all was not well as soon as I kick-started my Vespa that Monday morning. The engine sounded a bit rough but I pulled the throttle anyway and proceeded to head into work. Less than 5 minutes later, while stopping at a set of lights, the engine cut out. I initially thought that it was my mistake - releasing the clutch too early while the Vespa was still in gear or something. So, I gave it another kick , made sure to give it a mighty rev and assumed things would be back to normal.

My solution didn't work and I knew then that I was in trouble.

Having had the Vespa for a while now, I knew to check for the regular culprit first i.e. dirty carburetor. Obviously, no amount of kicking would resolve the problem there and then. So, I pulled the Vespa aside and at the first chance that came along, I pushed the Vespa to the other side of the road into a nearby hotel car park. At least in the car park I'd have a bit of privacy while I inspect the Vespa's internal organs.

It was then that I realised that I had my work clothes on. Nothing fancy but still, I didn't want to get them all sweaty and greasy that morning. I reached for the contents of my jacket's inner pocket and gave the recovery service a call. I was 5 minutes away from home but, the service was free and I was hell-bent on getting some of my insurance money back that morning.

That plan didn't work either.

Seemingly, the recovery service was so busy that morning, it would take about 3 hours before they could get a van out to where I was. Not wanting to risk dying of boredom in an an empty car park in the middle of practically nowhere, I decided to have a go at the thing right then.

To cut a long story short, after some fiddling around with the carb and experimenting with the choke, I managed to get the Vespa safely home. Oh, and that includes cutting out about three times along the way as well as probably doing less legal things at a few traffic lights.

Definitely better than hanging around doing nothing for around three hours.

Lies, Damn Lies and Myth-Busting Documentaries

I happen to come across this NY Times blog entry while looking out for news on th Vespa. The blog's title was an immediate eye-catcher sheerly because it didn't make sense. Surely the bike is far greener than the car?

Well, seemingly not. According to Mythbusters, bikes (and I assume scooters like the Vespa are included in this) are actually more detrimental to the environment than cars. Yes, according to their seemingly accurate, scientifically obtained data, although cars are obviously the more fuel-thirsty of the modes of transport, the bike actually causes more of a problem by producing a larger amount of noxious pollutants.

Myth, busted. Yay!

There you go. All those fools (yours truly included) riding around on their bikes and scooters in the cold and wet thinking they're doing their bit for the environment have actually been duped into believing an urban myth. But still, it didn't make sense.

So, I decided to apply a bit of logic using my own commute to work. I normally ride to work on my old PX125. Being a 2-stroke contraption, this Vespa definitely won't win any environmental awards. You don't need fancy emissions equipment and a white coat to realise that what's coming out the Sito Plus isn't actually noxious - you can actually smell it. Ah yes, nothing's more refreshing than the whiff of 2-stroke early in the morning, for about half an hour or so.

Half an hour?

Yes, half an hour and on a bad day, maybe 45 minutes. But, what if I drove? Based on previous experience, in rush hour traffic on a normal school day, it would take me at least an extra hour to get from the suburban Dublin into the city centre. Did the guys at Mythbusters take this into account? Wouldn't the extra hour of being stuck in traffic produce more pollutants from the cat? Yes? No?

I haven't watched the whole episode yet but I suspect this very basic but fundamental fact could've been conveniently ignored.

It doesn't make a difference to me though. I'd still prefer my Vespa any day over my shitty car.

Sneezing in the Wind

I hate getting colds. It's not the fact that my nose gets all stuffy, I sneeze constantly, my throat gets throbbingly sore and aches start to spread across my body. Oh, and there's the headaches as well.

No, all those pleasant things aren't the worst bits. The worst bit is that even though I'm as sick as can be and reduced to a zombie-like state, the world doesn't look upon it as a medically certifiable type of sickness. Take the day off and you're a wimp. Oh, his got man flu. Don't take the day off and your colleagues look at you as if you've got slabs of dead fungal skin falling off your face.

And if that isn't bad enough, I have now discovered a new low in terms of the effects of the common cold.

Ever tried sneezing with a full-face helmet with visor down while riding a Vespa at around 50-60 mph? Well, I have. Quite a lot actually seeing that I commute to work on a daily basis over the past four years. Fortunately, all the sneezing that I've done up to this stage have been limited to the polite, one could say, almost silent variety. A quiet personal achoo and that's it. No harm done.

My luck must've run out yesterday morning. On the way to work with my newly acquired cold (just in time to mark the transitional weather that accompanies autumn), I struggled breathing while trying to desperately balance the falling snot from a runny nose. Then without warning it came...

A mighty saliva-spewing, booger-blowing, head-jerking sneeze. ACHOO! The Vespa swerved slightly on the greasy tarmac and the car behind slowed down to keep its distance. Instinctively balancing the scooter back on the straight and narrow, I quickly realised that all was not well - my visor was completely covered in phlegm and I couldn't see a thing. And people say wearing an open-face helmet is dangerous?

Now, where did I put those anti-bacterial wipes...

Vespa PX: Zebra Crossing and Protesting

A nice Vespa parking spot that was unintentionally created when a zebra crossing was painted diagonally across a street.

Being on a Vespa or for that matter, any motorcycle, one tends to be more creative with finding spots for our trusted metal steeds. Cars and even bicycles get their own assigned spots but, when it comes to scooters and motorcycles, there's absolutely nothing.

And, even nothing looks like it may be taken away from scooterists and motorcyclists because some nerdy pencil-pusher working for the EU thought it would be a good idea. I'm keeping my diary free next weekend for the protest in Dublin.

Down with this sort of thing!

Vespa, Grounded

A few weeks ago, there was Irene. Irene seemed threatening and very dangerous but she was causing havoc across the pond and was no where close to Ireland.

Then, at some stage last week, I was made aware of Katia. As opposed to Irene, Katia wasn't thousands of miles away but was making its way across the Atlantic and actually threatening to smash into Ireland with a bang. Well, last night, that appeared to have happened.

I woke up in the middle of the night and immediately noticed the howling winds, the banging of windows and doors left open while car alarms blared their distinctive tones in the distance. Not wanting a repeat of my previous encounter with gale force winds on a Vespa, I re-set my alarm an hour earlier to give me enough time to catch the bus instead.

I woke up this morning hoping the worst was over and I could continue with life on the Vespa. I peered out of my balcony window and spotted a neighbour's blue Coleman on my second floor balcony. It must've been blown there by the wind overnight. The decision was pretty much made for me at that moment - no Vespa commuting until this hurricane-like weather blows over.

...And Out Come The Gloves

The winter gloves to be exact. Yes, it's September and officially the end of summer here in Ireland. And, just in case one needed to be reminded of the fact, the weather changed from bad to worse, right on cue. Strange, because that seldom happens when winter turns into spring or from then on to summer.

There's no snow (yet) but some mornings certainly feel like winter

To accompany the weather there's always the pretty fallen brown leaves which aren't so pretty when they turn into slippery death traps around corners. Even if it is possible to avoid the leaves, there's always the slightly frosty and extremely slippery roads. All that is of course awaiting a poor old Vespa rider after the main obstacles - part-time drivers doing the school run and douchebag drivers all of whom magically appear this time of the year.

C'est la vie, I suppose.


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The Green Vespa Delivers: Kuih Raya

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to those celebrating in Malaysia and Eid Mubarak to everyone else around the world.





It's a time of forgiveness so, I'd like to take this opportunity to offer my sincerest apologies to anyone I've offended during the course of the previous twelve months, either through anything I've typed here or in person.

PS: Mabe it's about time I invested in a Givi box or one of those retro cool Prima cases for all these deliveries. Must speak to the wife about this soon.

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Want a Quicker Scooter? Why Not Try a Bicycle (Wait, what?)

With the start of the new Premier League season and my ever-growing interest in engine-less two wheel contraptions, it can seem like my interest in scooters specifically, my dear old Green Vespa is on the wane. On the contrary though, it's actually very much the opposite.

OK, I have to admit, ever since the start of the season I've been going on about Liverpool this and Liverpool that but that's only normal and comes with the territory. The bicyle thing on the other hand, is definitely abnormal and there's a good reason for that. Let me explain...

Over the past months, I've come to the conclusion that no amount of tuning with my Vespa would result in a significant enough performance increase. Not enough to justify the price that I'd have to pay to buy the necessary parts, get it installed and then pay someone who actually knows what he's doing to properly install the thing. All that and there's still no guarantee that the whole experience will be hassle-free.

And that's the most important bit - the level of hassle-freeness of it all. At the moment, (except for an annoying YSS rear shock that I plan to throw into a skip as soon as I get the chance), my Vespa's back to its normal reliable self. And, with all reliable things that just works, one tends to leave them be. It stays in the background and just does what it's meant to do.

Anyway, back to the topic of performance. This is where I (unsuccessfully?) attempt to justify my recent unfaithfulness to my Vespa when I secretly look at its slimmer, less greasy and lower maintenance cousins online.

Unlike the Vespa, the bicycle is more of a fitness tool. Yes, the plan is to use the bicycle on shorter trips - to the shops, the gym, etc. while at the same time reducing the Vespa to the commuter role with the odd longer journey thrown in. This is not necessarily a bad thing as I would theoretically lengthen the life of the Vespa and also improve its performance. Performance? How so?

Well, by using the bicycle more often, I would in theory, reduce my own weight. Less weight equals quicker Vespa. Quicker Vespa equals happier rider. A win-win situation. And that, beats any tuning kit/performance exhaust that's available on the market today.

Vespa PX: Cross Process Mullets

Yes, it's been a slow ideas day. Actually, a whole slow month. Wonder what I'd do without my Camera+ app at this stage. I think this particular pic has that 80's feel to it. Obviously the PX helps and to add to the feel, maybe a couple of dudes running around in mullets would've been nice.

I would've liked a mullet of some sort when I was growing up. All the cool dudes had them and I couldn't afford not to be cool. Not that my Dad ever listened. We used to head to Chandran the barber together and get identical 1940's haircuts while listening to Engelbert Humperdinck. But now, when I'd rather do without a mullet, my hair keeps reminding me of my childhood desires and tends to mulletise without much effort. It comes naturally when the hair at the top of my head keeps getting thinner by the day (or plainly refuses to grow any longer than half an inch) while the ones at the back keep getting longer and longer.

Exhibit A: Only in the 80's could this have been considered cool. The boy in the pic is not to be confused with the writer. Thanks to the wisdom of his father (with the help of Chandran and Engelbert Humperdinck), he never had a mullet.

Hmmm...Yes, maybe the Vespa pic is fine as it is, without mullets floating around.

Kyle Plante Mullet pic by: Lifetouch

Vespa PX: Black & White Vignette

It's good to see what a bit of playing around on the Camera+ app can do to a normal pic of the Vespa. Maybe, from now on I'll stop immediately deleting those dodgy pics that I can't avoid taking. You never know, apps like the one used here might just be able to change it into something half decent.

Spilt Milk

No point crying over it.




Yes, the pic above represents the Vespa's rear rack's first failure. Actually, the failure's all mine and I have €1.99 less in my wallet because of it. Thankfully, it was just that and not something more expensive. Next time, I'll remember to better secure whatever I'll be carrying on the rack.

I was going to do some research and look at Liverpool new boy, Stewart Downing's statistics but the weather over the weekend was so good, I decided to park that aside for the moment. Apologies to those waiting on this but I don't get this type of weather in Ireland too often so, I hope it's completely understandable.

Vespa PX: Badminton Bandwagon

Here's another use for the Vespa's humble rear rack...




Both rider and racket arrived safe and sound.

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Road Closed

...not for the Green Vespa!