Watching Paint Dry in Utrecht

There I was busily tapping a way at my laptop’s keyboard when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Movement. Yes, there was definitely movement outside on the first floor balcony of my house. Could be nothing. One of the estate’s many stray cats or a bird. Nothing to panic about. After a brief moment, I noticed it again and then again. That’s no cat...

I got off the couch and without thinking twice I darted to the French doors that led to the balcony. There in front of me was my cat – two hooded figures, in tracksuits and sneakers were crouched on the metal rails of my balcony, in broad daylight.

Shit.

Different thoughts raced through my mind. There was the hurley or maybe a golf club that I kept reminding myself to buy and keep handy around the house, just in case situations like this ever happened. Where were my wife and kids? Surely, I needed to tell them to get out of the house at that very moment. My mobile? God only knows where that was that afternoon.

I must’ve stood rooted to the laminate floor, staring at the two intruders for long enough as one of them pointed me out to his fellow perpetrator. But then, something strange happened. Both of them smiled. Cheesy-looking grins actually and waved their guns. Oh yeah, burglars with a sense of humour. Awww...how nice of them.

Wait.

Those gray things in their hands weren’t guns or any type of weapon. Not at all. They were...paintbrushes soaked in gray paint. Eh? WTF?

At that moment, I realised that the two men standing on my balcony weren’t actually baddies out to rob me of what little belongings I had in the house, they were actually painters who were hired by the block’s management company to spruce up all the old and flaked paint on the metal railings around the place. Relieved that my life wasn’t at threat I continued to stand at the same spot curiously looking at the two men’s work.

It wasn’t easy work. First, they had to scrub and sand off all the old paint work. Then, they had to brush away anything else that was left behind before putting on what seemed to me like a coat of primer on the bare metal. After leaving a section to dry, they’d continue with the sanding/scrubbing elsewhere but would come back to paint on a couple of layers of gray paint, making sure that they get the paint evenly on every single nook and cranny on the metal railing. After all that, their job was basically done and all that was left was to pray that it didn’t rain so that the paint could properly dry.

Interesting? Not one bit.

But I can promise you that there are even less interesting things in life than watching paint dry. And, to prove my point, I will gladly offer an example: The FC Utrecht v. Liverpool Europa League match last night. I would offer some of my views on the match but considering that the only interesting bits were Van Wolfswinkel’s name and Martin Skrtel’s head wrapping that made him look like a white Arthur Ashe (without the 70’s afro), I’ve pretty much ran out of things to say.


What I can comment on is the strange reaction from Roy Hodgson during the pre-match press conference. When asked how many points would be required to qualiy from Group K, he replied with...

Nine or ten would be my guess but I wouldn't put a bet on it if I were you because I'm not very good at these 'How many points do you need' games.

Not very good at estimating points, Roy? If you're not good at that in a 4-team group, I wonder how you'd fare with the Premiership's 20-team table. How many points are you aiming for there?

OK, I'm being harsh but it's not like I plucked the comments off some anti-Liverpool tabloid like The Sun. The comments were taken from Liverpool's official site so, the chances of our manager being misquoted are pretty much slim to none. Of course, it might be the case that I lack some sense of humour but really, now's not the time to be joking about points tally and all.

If I was looking for some reassurances last night, there was definitely very little on show either pre-match or during the match itself.

Roll on Sunday

As far as starts go, Liverpool couldn't have asked for a better 30 seconds. One dodgy back pass and a good finish by Joe Cole was all it took to get Anfield's volume up to about 10 that rainy night. Unfortunately, that's as good as it got for the first half.

I'm still dumbfounded by Liverpool's approach this season. When without the ball, the team appear to be happy to sit back and not press opponents or close down space. Maybe, there's a school of thought that suggests that not doing this has its benefits (maintaining fitness perhaps?) but if there are one or two benefits, I can't see if they actually outweigh the many disadvantages. With all that possession Steaua naturally started to grow in confidence and after their equaliser, Anfield started to sound more like Stadionul Steaua.

Liverpool stepped up the pressure after the break and it paid dividends almost immediately. On 54 minutes, Sotirios Kyrgiakos looked liked he was pulled down in the penalty box and was awarded a penalty. A soft penalty but a penalty nevertheless. There were nervous looks on the Kop as David N'Gog stepped up to take it but Liverpool's top scorer this season finished coolly to calm nerves around the park and silence his doubters, at least for the next few moments.

After an intial mix up by the fourth official, Lucas was introduced as Ryan Babel's replacement. A few minutes later and Steven Gerrard, who was in the stands that night was smiling away as the Brazilian substitute performed an impersonation of the Liverpool captain by scoring a screamer from outside the box. Towards the end of the match, N'Gog added his second of the match, the 4-1 scoreline ultimately vindicating Roy Hodgson's squad selection and tactics for the match.

At the end of the night, it was a good job by Liverpool's second string and a good confidence booster for Liverpool's youngsters but any self-respecting fan knows that the real action's this Sunday...

It's Thursday nights now

I like the usual football banter that I have with my colleagues at work. Although a diverse bunch of football fans (including decent United fans), I'm fortunate enough that they're not the type that merely regurgitates the bile that's being spewed out by the likes Sky and the written press (well, at least most of them).

So, most of the conversations are decent enough and don't start off with idiotic and baseless comments like, That Rafa is a twat...Rotation doesn't work...zonal-marking is stupid...blah...blah..blah.

Most chats start off with the likes of, Who are you guys playing next/this weekend...

Then, in a nutshell, we'll get into analysing the two teams, tactics and predict a result (sadly, I was correct when it came to our game against Arsenal including that Diaby would score!). On this particular occasion, when asked the standard bi-weekly question I automatically replied.

We're playing on Tuesday or Wednesday night. Can't remember who against but I'll look it up...

At that moment, it dawned on me. Liverpool weren't in the Champions League anymore. We're in that tournament no one ever watches except when they go channel roaming to find something decent to watch. The tournament that no one really cares if you lose it or win it. Liverpool are in the Europa League!

Errr...actually we're playing on Thursday. Against Unirea. Some club from Romania.

I quickly corrected myself.

Thursday night? That'll ruin my weekly routine. From now on, my footballing nights will be on Thursdays? Eh? I'll need to explain that to the wife. It'll clash with her late night shopping. It'll clash with Lost (OK, I know no one else watches this any more but I just have to see what happens in the end!). I'll have to refill my Vespa on Wednesday night instead-when the tank's not even empty. Utterly disastrous.

No, it's just too much hassle. Liverpool will have to finish in the top 4 this season. Nothing less.